4 Ways to Respond to Criticism in Godly Way
No one likes criticism, but it’s inevitable that we’ll face some along the way, either in our personal lives or in the workplace. Therefore, we need to learn how to respond to it in a godly way. Although it’s tempting to become defensive or angry, if we pause before taking offense, remain calm and listen, there’s potential for spiritual growth and character development.
The Bible tells us in the book of Proverbs, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding. Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor” (Proverbs 15:31-33). Some of life's best lessons come through the feedback of others. If God allowed the situation, you can be sure that He wants to use it to draw you closer to Him.
Whether the criticism is delivered with kindness or harshness, our goal should always be to respond in a Christ-like way. We can’t control how someone else behaves, but we are responsible for how we handle our response.
Some criticism, especially if it’s coming from a genuinely concerned friend or family member, isn't meant to hurt or insult another person. In fact, constructive criticism can reveal areas in which we may need to adjust our behavior or attitudes (James 5:19-20). Whether the criticism is warranted or not, there are four ways we can respond in a Christ-like manner:
With a listening ear
When criticism comes your way, listen until the other person has finished, demonstrating attentiveness and respect. When they're finished, thank the person for bringing their concerns to your attention and tell them you’ll think about what they’ve said. If possible, even ask clarifying questions to show that you take what they are saying with the intention to improve. I valued so highly a colleague that I worked with for 17 years who kindly told me many times what I didn’t really want to hear, but I needed to hear. I valued the way he pointed out things that I was blind to, and he did it in a way that I knew he was trying to help me, not attack me. Every criticism is an opportunity to let your Christ-like character shine by showing patience and love. If a person is attacking you, your grace and kindness become a powerful witness. If their comments are spot-on, it’s an opportunity to let God work on changing your heart.
With humility
The best way to respond to criticism is with humility. “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). When a friend, co-worker or family member criticizes you, don’t react by spewing criticism of your own back at them, because they may be trying to help you. Sometimes we can’t see our own flaws. Others may see things in us that we don’t, in which case, we should consider it, and if we think it’s unfair, disregard it. Give the person the benefit of the doubt, because they may be right and if you react in anger, you could lose the relationship. And they will most likely never attempt to help you improve with a constructive comment in the future.
With gratitude
Regardless of whether the criticism feels justified or not, thank the person for their willingness to be open and honest. Maybe they’re having a bad day or maybe their delivery wasn’t as kind as it could have been...or maybe they’re right? Sometimes we need to give people the benefit of the doubt, process their words and appreciate that maybe they’re trying to help us. If their words come with a less-than-kind tone, respond as Christ would – with love. Pray for them and move on. “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding” (Proverbs 15:31-32).
With prayer
There’s a phrase many of us say when presented with information we’re not sure is accurate: “Consider the source.” When we receive criticism that feels unfair or incorrect, before you react, pray about it and consider the source. Does this person tend to be critical most of the time? If so, try to shake it off, be kind and pray for them. Maybe their negativity stems from something else they’re going through or a wound from their past. However, if the criticism has been offered in a constructive, supportive tone by someone you respect and trust, ask the Holy Spirit to speak to your heart. Do their words resonate a bit? Is this an area in which the Lord is offering a gentle conviction? Admitting that the person might be right is not easy to do but will ultimately lead to something positive.
The Word says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6). I don’t know about you, but I would rather receive wounds that help me to grow, than kisses that falsely flatter me.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN SUBSCRIBING TO FIND OUT WHEN A NEW BLOG OR PODCAST IS AVAILABLE, CLICK HERE!