Are you controlling or leading?
There is a valuable distinction to make between leading and controlling. When we find ourselves in a position to have influence over others, we often succumb to the tendency of control rather than servant leadership. A fine line lies between the two, and that is why we should break down what they both truly look like in order to recognize the difference.
When comparing side-by-side, control is about the power to direct people’s behavior and have an influence over their actions. That is the typical top-down leadership that prevails today. Servant leadership, on the other hand, sounds similar but is actually the exact opposite–it is more focused on collaboration, motivating, and helping others to contribute to the achievement of a common goal. A primary differentiating factor is that servant leadership requires collaboration and consideration of the other person’s goals and motivations while control more often than not looks like one-way communication to only serve the leader and the leader’s goals.
I think it is safe to say that nobody likes to feel controlled. When people try to control us in their efforts to lead us, it can be discouraging and aggravating because our freedom is squashed. Selfish-desires and ambitions often get the best of those in leadership positions when they arrive at a position that offers power because they want to be seen as deserving of their leadership position or selfishly desire to receive all the credit for the success of their team. Control is self-seeking and usually decreases productivity and reduces performance because when control becomes too overbearing, employees will no longer give their best effort to the job because they don’t feel appreciated and their respect for their leader begins to decline.
Remember that leadership is a privilege and when you have the opportunity to guide and mentor others, the potential for meaningful influence is great and should not be taken lightly. You carry the responsibility to equip team members with resources, training and development that is necessary for them to excel in their current role and move forward toward their own career aspirations. A respected leader will be selfless, listen with intention to help others grow and progress, and put forth the time and effort to establish meaningful personal relationships - all with the goal of learning about the needs and aspirations of their team members and using their own skills to help propel their team members forward. A truly great servant leader will pull people up rather than pushing them by trying to control them.
There is much benefit that comes from assessing your own leadership intentions and taking a look inward to analyze how your direction and guidance is being perceived by the people you are trying to lead. Give yourself a reality check every so often to see if you are making meaningful efforts each day that truly serve to help your employees progress in their careers instead of using them to help you seek your own personal, selfish ambitions. A simple question to ask yourself: “Is it more about them, or more about me?” You can leave a lasting legacy of great leadership by pouring yourself into others, rather than just using them and trying to control them to reach your own career aspirations. No matter what type of leader you have been up to this point in your career, choose to change your focus today toward serving others rather than yourself. You will be amazed to see how your team comes together and performs at new levels beyond even your own expectations.