How to Support Isolated Hospital and Nursing Home Patients During COVID-19
Because of COVID-19, many individuals who are in hospital and nursing homes are suffering alone, unable to receive visits from their loved ones. I think the pain of this separation is felt not just by those who are in hospitals and nursing homes, but by their friends and family who so desperately want to be able to support their loved ones during these difficult times. Throughout this pandemic, it’s reminded of me of when my wife and I were in the hospital for many months on end some decades ago, as we traded off staying with our newborn daughter, who was fighting for her life in critical care. Even all these years later, I can recall how people made an effort to encourage my family and me during that time and the impact that outreach had on our healing.
Drawing from my experience of being on the side of suffering and separation, I can provide some pertinent advice for those seeking to support hurting individuals, whether it be because of coronavirus or any other malady they have to endure alone.
Your encouragement is the most valuable thing to offer.
Personally, what got me through that shipwreck season with my daughter in the hospital were all the individuals who called or wrote notes to encourage me, rather than try to offer answers or advice. Something as simple as, “I have no idea what you are going through. I am so sad to see you and your family suffer like this. I am praying that God will give you the strength to get through this. You are an inspiration to the rest of us in the way that we see you are handling this and continuing to trust God. If there is anything I can do for you during this time, other than continue to pray for you and your family, please let me know, as I would be delighted to help you as I know you would do the same for me,” would lift my spirits in a moment, and remind me that I was not alone; I was loved.
Most often, hurting people do not want us to fix their problems, give advice or try to convince them to see things differently. They just want to know through word and action that they are not forgotten. I remember how, when I was in the hospital with my daughter, many friends were afraid to reach out to me, because they didn’t know what to say or had never been in a similar situation. But I wasn’t searching for answers; I wanted encouragement and empathy most. The act of receiving a phone call or card was like a soothing balm to the soul.
God works through people every day, all the time, to touch the lives of others. As humans with free will, we have a choice about whether we will burrow our heads into the sand when trouble strikes those around us, or if we will do the challenging yet courageous thing and choose to make ourselves emotionally available to others.
COVID-19 has imposed a unique set of circumstances on those in the hospital and nursing homes that are different than what I went through while in the hospital with my daughter. But I don’t believe it changes the truth that what those are suffering need most is the consistent support and encouragement of their loved ones. Especially in this decade, there are so many creative ways we can stay connected, even if we cannot see them in person. We can FaceTime, send texts, emails and much more. It’s easier than ever before to check in on those who are hurting; we have no excuse.
I also know that there are some really hurting family members right now who are not permitted to see their loved ones who are in nursing homes or hospitals and who are not able to FaceTime or talk on the phone or text due to their condition. My mom is in an assisted living facility all alone with dementia/Alzheimers and unable to communicate with other members of our family. While difficult on all our family, I know it is particularly depressing for my dad, who just wants to be with and hold his wife of 65 years of marriage. So while remembering to reach out to those you know in hospitals and nursing homes, don’t forget about those who are unable to see and communicate with their loved ones during this time.
Reach out to someone you know who is suffering alone today, even if it is just to say, “I love you and am sorry about what you are going through. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Can I do anything for you?” Let them know you truly care about them.
Above all, encourage through empathy, as Christians are instructed to do in Romans 12:15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”