The Power of Your Story as a Leader
What do the people you lead know about you? They probably know your name and a bit of your resume. They might know some biographical facts about you like if you’re married or the approximate ages of your kids. They may know what time you prefer to have meetings or how often you like project updates.
Most leaders keep their relationships with their employees at a very top level and never dive deeper, feeling that it is inappropriate or uncomfortable. Our employees rarely know our motivations, our dreams, or our fears, which all come from knowing our story.
Every person has a story to tell. We all have our own stories with experiences that developed us into the unique individuals we are today. We all have moments in our life that forever impacted the way we view the world and relate to others. When your employees know your story, and see you are willing to share your own vulnerability and trials and what you learned through them, they can begin to understand and relate to you better and are more willing to follow you.
If you need some help getting started, here are three questions to prompt you to start sharing your story with your team.
How did your childhood and youth prepare you for the role you have today?
My first job was working with my Dad in our family’s construction business. In fact, I started working with him as early as second grade, and I progressed to jobs that included framing carpenter, electrician, plumber, heavy equipment operator, and job foreman. From my Dad, I learned the value of hard work and the importance of valuing your frontline workers. I never wanted to be considered “the Boss’s son,” so I tried to outwork everyone else so that they would view my work contributions rather than who I was. My Dad also taught me to continually ask the frontline workers what caused them frustration in their jobs and how could we build better homes for our customers, and then address what they told me. When my team knows my background, they understand more about my motivations, attention to detail, care for colleagues at all levels of the company, and desire to work hard and serve our customers.
What parts of your childhood helped point you to where you are today? Maybe you grew up cooking with your grandmother, which led you to become a chef. Maybe a family member got sick, and you realized you wanted to be a doctor. Whatever your story, be open to sharing when it comes up in conversation!
What is your worldview and how was it formed?
We all have a worldview that impacts how we act, make decisions, and relate to others. I have a strong Christian worldview that was formed after I placed my faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior as a teenager and started reading the Bible regularly. I strive to view the world through Christ’s eyes, loving the things He loves and living my life the way He modeled for us (although I am far from perfect). Our faith is the primary thing that shapes our worldview. Does your team know your faith and how it impacts you?
Other things impact our worldview. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Are you motivated by praise or rewards? Are you introverted or extroverted? These things all formulate our worldview, and by sharing our stories, our teams can better understand how we approach situations and why.
What are the core moments in your life?
The Pixar film “Inside Out” shares a concept of “core memories.” The movie shares the story of Riley’s emotions as they attempt to navigate a relocation to a new part of the country. When Riley makes a memory that becomes part of her being and belief system, it’s memorialized as a core memory.
What are the core memories in your life? For me, the biggest core memory is the moment I was told my four-month-old daughter, who was born normal but developed a simple allergy to milk, would not survive after a botched medical procedure that should have been very routine. The despair and grief I experienced in that moment changed me forever. The grace and mercy I experienced through my Savior changed me as well. My daughter did survive (she is 38 now), though with significant mental and physical impairments, and the journey of raising her has made me a better, more empathetic person. You really can’t know who I truly am if you don’t know what I have experienced with my daughter Linley.
What are the core moments in your life that irrevocably changed you? These memories may be moments of joy or despair or just a mundane moment in which you discovered something. How can sharing these moments help your team better understand who you are?
What’s your team member’s story?
Now, it’s time to turn this exercise on its head. Just as there is power in your team knowing your story, there is power in you understanding them through their own story. Could you answer these questions about any of your team? Do you know them beyond a surface level? Have you ever taken the time to ask them about their life and what is most important to them? If the answer is no, it’s time for some major relationship-building time! Start small, by checking in with each of your team members regularly (in person if at all possible) to see how they’re doing and building up deeper conversations. Not only will this make your team stronger and more effective, but you may also have the opportunity to share the love of Christ with them as they open up to you about their lives! That is more important than any job or leadership role! You may even be given the opportunity to help them change their eternity!