How to Support Your Spouse’s Career
Growing one’s career, especially in leadership positions, is no walk in the park. There are countless stresses, difficult decisions, and late nights along the way. I know when I was in the thick of my career, I absolutely would not have made it without the support of my beautiful wife Dare.
She’s often mentioned how difficult it was to watch me go through stressful seasons at work, and she strived to be the best helpmate she could be for me. I can say with certainty that she succeeded. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner with whom to walk through my career.
Many of my readers have spouses who are currently building their careers. Drawing from Dare’s selfless example, here are three ways you can be a great partner when your spouse is struggling with work stress.
Pray. And then pray some more.
Praying for your spouse is by far the most important thing you can do for them. When you said your marriage vows, God called you to the vital task of praying over your spouse and with your spouse each and every day. Not only will praying allow you to bring your spouse’s career before the throne of God, but it also will bring deeper unity in your marriage. Throughout my almost 40-year marriage to Dare, I have felt the power of her prayers for me. Many people told me they were praying for me in difficult times, but knowing my wife was interceding on my behalf always bolstered me. Make it a habit to pray for your spouse every day.
Listen.
When I faced difficult decisions at work, there was always one person I wanted to talk to, and it wasn’t my assistant, my second-in-command or my boss. I needed to talk to my wife. Dare is a great listener and provides insights I couldn’t see from the thick of the situation. Furthermore, Dare knows me better than anyone else on the planet and can often see when I’m blundering toward a mistake. I know sometimes the issues I faced at work seemed mundane to her, but she always took time to listen and respond. Maybe your spouse works in a field that doesn’t make sense to you. You might not always understand the “jargon” of their chosen career, but you can listen, be empathetic and provide support. This will mean more to your spouse than you can imagine.
Help them turn it off.
When things were at their worst at the office, Dare helped me do the thing that was hardest for me - leave it behind. She gracefully walked that balance of allowing me to vent about issues and encouraging me to put it aside for a bit to enjoy my family. She was great about giving me a little time when I walked in the door to unwind a bit and then gently reminding me that while my career was important and I needed to provide well for my family, the most important thing was sitting around my dinner table each night with our family and having meaningful conversations. Without her help, I could have easily missed the joy of watching my kids grow up and leading them in the ways of the Lord. If your spouse struggles to compartmentalize work, try giving them a little space when they walk in the door from work to dis-engage, setting a time after the kids are in bed to discuss any issues, then agree to put work aside for now and spend time as a family.
Balancing a career with your family and faith is challenging. I’m so thankful God provided a partner who was there for me every step of the way. Likewise, God has called you to be a support to your spouse as they grow in their career. These are three examples of how I saw God work through my wife, but there are countless ways He can use you. Spend time in prayer and ask God to give you wisdom in supporting your spouse. It will have a positive impact on your marriage and your spouse more than you can imagine.