The Best Leaders Are Emotionally Intelligent
A lot of people take pride in their IQ—intellectual quotient. The higher one’s IQ number, the smarter they are, supposedly. However, in recent years, a different quotient has grabbed the attention of psychologists and professionals that some consider to be even more valuable than IQ.
EQ, often referred to as the emotional intelligence quotient, is one of the most marketable commodities a person can cultivate. It’s a trait that tends to separate the good leaders from great leaders. Of course, it’s valuable to strengthen your hard skills, but throughout my decades-long career in leadership, I’ve discovered that many working professionals gravely underestimate how far emotional intelligence can take them.
Like IQ, some part of EQ is “genetic,” so to speak, in that you may be born with a more gregarious and people-oriented personality than your siblings or your parents. But the good news is that emotional intelligence can be strengthened over time.
Why is EQ important?
An article from the Harvard Business School defines EQ this way: “Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you.”
Although the term “EQ” (having been coined around 1990) is not as familiar to people as “IQ,” humans have always been able to discern emotionally intelligent individuals from those who are not. For instance, we’ve all had experiences speaking with an engaged listener who was attentive while we talked, made solid eye contact, asked meaningful questions, and made us feel like they were truly interested in what we had to say. Similarly, many of us have had bosses or colleagues who couldn’t be bothered to have any conversation that wasn’t work-related or show empathy for our personal and professional struggles.
There are many obvious benefits of being an emotionally intelligent individual, but the reason EQ is so crucial for leaders is that emotionally intelligent leaders have more satisfied employees.
Emotionally intelligent leaders clearly demonstrate their care for those under their leadership. They are cognizant of the needs in their workplace and make an effort to meet those needs. This leads to building stronger teams, increasing confidence in an employee’s capabilities and contributing to the creation of an environment where everyone knows that they are valued for what they bring to the table and are appreciated.
In this day and age, providing a sustainable salary and benefits is not enough to retain a hard-working staff. When people know that they can work at a place where leaders value emotional intelligence, that’s where they will invest.
How Can You Cultivate EQ?
Everyone can have higher emotional intelligence. It takes practice and patience, but you will find that cultivating stronger EQ will not only benefit those under your leadership—it will also help you to lead a more fulfilling life. Being more in touch with others helps us have stronger relationships and helps us learn to become more self-aware of the impact we can have on others (positive and negative).
An excellent starting point for strengthening EQ is by becoming a better listener. Next time you meet with one of your employees or have a conversation with a colleague, make a point to maintain eye contact even if it’s uncomfortable, to show verbal and nonverbal cues that let them know you are processing what they are saying, and to actively think of ways to relate to what they are expressing. Engage with them by asking follow up questions to enable the conversation to go deeper. This creates empathy, which is a gateway to connection.
A second key trait of emotionally intelligent individuals is self-awareness. Self-aware people receive constructive criticism with grace and actively seek feedback. They also make it a point to read the room in any given situation and adjust their communication approach accordingly. For example, you may have a direct-speaking style that works well in some situations, but would be less appropriate in a work meeting where you can see that your staff is weary and needs more gentle encouragement.
Finally, one of the best ways to cultivate your EQ is by asking for helpful tips and feedback from someone in your life who is more emotionally intelligent. You may be surprised to discover how many people who simply seem naturally emotionally intelligent actually had to work very hard to become that way.
It doesn’t matter how high your IQ is; if you don’t seek to grow your EQ, your success may very well stagnate. The good news is that each of these tips are excellent starting points for becoming a more emotionally intelligent leader. It is never too late to take your EQ to a higher level. Even if you think your EQ is pretty good, what would great look like?